First time buyers need to know there are ways to get the perfect home and your parent's blessing without the tears and turmoil that many experience.

Here's what your parents most likely see when they look at a house you are interested in...

No matter how much you love it or how perfect it is for you the first time you bring Mom or Dad to look at the house you want to buy they will be overwhelmed with emotion and fear most likely. Fear your spending too much, buying too soon , not spending enough, buying too late etc.

Once upon a time Will Smith sang how parents just don't understand. If you are a first time buyer most likely years before you were born. Last week I promised I would find a nice early 20's couple find a fabulous first home in one of the most competitive price points in town. I did and they loved it and then the love story starts to fade, Dad didn't.

Last night I saw the scene playing out like a movie I had watched time and time again. My clients arrive to see the house a 2nd time with a car following close behind, parents get out and my client tells me who is who and what to expect. Without even getting into the doorway of the very nice home on a very nice street I recognized the look on the parent's face. I watched as the young couple who have saved for a down payment and worked to get their credit to an acceptable level have their pride and dreams crushed in just a few sentences. I knew I couldn't stop it, I knew the parent needed to have their concerns heard and I knew there was no way to make it sting less. Parent loudly voices "why don't you wait until you can afford a better house in Andover ". My client gasps and immediately feels embarrassed. I quickly point out how proud the couple should feel that they are able to buy a house in town at the price point and remind them all of what it takes to get a mortgage today. I walk them through the house, show them the sales on the street, explain that a 10 year old roof is not the end of the world and that they could help with the down payment if they feel the price point is too low. I can see the tension leaving my clients face and the parent starting to feel like maybe they are a little out of touch with the home values today. It feels like I have taken part in this conversation hundreds of times.

Sometimes I remind parents when their child brought home the semi painted macaroni necklace in elementary school the parent didn't tell the child it was poorly chosen pasta. Instead a good parent will wear the necklace with pride. I ask that they try to be gentle , supportive and helpful by sharing their thoughts and advice in a way that doesn't break the hearts of the adult children.

When you bring your parents to see the home you are hoping to be lucky enough to buy in 2015 prepare for their input, the act of bringing them to the house invites their thoughts and critiques. Smile, thank them and listen to what they are sharing. Often it may be valid, smart information. Other times you may need to remember most parents have not bought homes in many years and haven't had to get a mortgage in quite some time. All have opinions on whether it's a buyers or a sellers market and they are rarely right. Not because they are bad people but instead because they aren't a local real estate professional.

If you are searching for a home north shore, northern mass or in the seacoast area I encourage you to let me help you learn about the process , negotiate the best price possible and navigate the paperwork. I promise to do everything possible to help you make the right decisions and choose the perfect house.

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Quick tip : When your paternal figure suggests that your budget isn't high enough ask them for down payment help or to personally fund your loan. I don't mean this to sound harsh, many of my clients have done so in the past and had this turn out well. If you don't find that they are helping with the mortgage they may be less critical next time around.